


A love confession in Clarke Griffin Style

by Kat_Kthrn



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Clarke Leaves, Dad!Bellamy, F/M, Finn because he makes a good villain in Modern Settings, Greek mythology names, I have a thing for Dad!Bellamy so don't judge me, Kid Fic, it is a blake what did you expect?, it is a mess honestly, it is pretty much a Bellamy fic, obviously, relationship drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-14 23:36:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11218599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kat_Kthrn/pseuds/Kat_Kthrn
Summary: When Bellamy wakes up, the warmth of her lips still lingers on his cheeks. He rubs drowsily over his skin, trying to turn the feeling into something real, something touchable, but he can’t.And suddenly, Bellamy is very aware how something in his world has changed fundamentally.He can’t quite grasp it and lets out a frustrated huff, dropping his hand on the sheets besides him.It lands on paper – a note – and then, the baby starts crying.ORClarke leaves because she needs to take care of herself before she can take of her child and just a lot Dad!Bellamy fluff!





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay this is the first part of a fic I wrote months ago but never finished.  
> The second and last part is following tomorrow.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it, check out my others works and I will love you forever if you leave a comment!

When Bellamy wakes up, the warmth of her lips still lingers on his cheeks. He rubs drowsily over his skin, trying to turn the feeling into something real, something touchable, but he can’t.  
And suddenly, Bellamy is very aware how something in his world has changed fundamentally.  
He can’t quite grasp it and lets out a frustrated huff, dropping his hand on the sheets besides him.   
It lands on paper – a _note_ – and then, the baby starts crying.

***

The first time Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin met, they fought.  
It was simple, really.  
Clarke came from old money, and he came from _no_ money. Since Bellamy remembered, for everything he had wanted, he had to work and he could not believe that she just waltzed into his advanced junior class, because her mother was a board member and obviously _privilege_ got you everywhere.  
Bellamy despised this blonde, entitled princess the second she sat down next to him and sneered at her. He couldn’t have imagined the force of nature Clarke Griffin was.  
They got partnered up for the rest of the entire course, and he learned how fucking _wrong_ he was about her. By their second class, he had the most embarrassing crash on her.  
And by their eighth class, Bellamy finally had gotten his shit together and had been ready to confess his love to her when Finn Collins showed up.  
She started dating Finn at the end of freshman year.

 

                           **

Bellamy crumbles the note in his fist without reading it and then there is this rush of pain, paralyzing him. He can’t breathe when the realization dawns, but the baby is crying.  
So he gets up, because Clarke is gone.

 

                        ***

Being in love with Clarke Griffin _sucked_.  
At least, when she was dating Finn Collins and being so happy about it. Because then, he couldn’t even hate that guy, since he was the reason she was so happy.  
“So…the spacewalker?” Bellamy asked when he flopped into the seat next to her and opened his book, consciously avoiding her gaze.  
Clarke shrugged: “Yeah, it is nice”, smiling shyly like she needed to hide her happiness from him, and Bellamy turned to her, full-body.  
“That’s good”, he nodded reassuringly and focusing back on the book in front of him.  
They sat in companionable silence reading for a few minutes when Clarke arched an eyebrow at him: “Wait, what did you call him?”, she considered, “ _Spacewalker_?”  
Bellamy looked up from his pages and then a smirk played on his lips: “Yeah, because he moves always so _swiftly_ like he is floating in zero G.” He started moving his arms in wavey motions, and Clarke scowled at him first but then couldn’t help but laugh.  
She slapped his arm playfully: “Shut up... I really like him.”  
Bellamy stopped immediately, nodded sharply and read the page for the third time again, still not knowing what it was about.

                            **

Bellamy has always been kind of a dick, so he reads the Odyssey to put the baby back to sleep and rocks her a little longer in his arms than necessary before he gets up again.  
He pours himself a cup of coffee – wishes it would be something stronger, but it is not even noon yet and there is a baby sleeping in his bedroom, and he dials the number.

 

                            ***

 

Bellamy had never particular liked Finn, for obvious reasons, but he never cared enough to actually hate him. In an abstract way, Bellamy knew Finn was a good guy even when his world views were kind of askew and fucked up.  
He surely loved Clarke and probably never wanted to hurt her, but making her the _other woman_ was the worst thing he could’ve done to her.  
Bellamy never got the full story, but one night a few weeks after the fallout, Clarke showed up with a hot brunette at the bar.  
“That’s Raven”, she introduced her without further explanation, ordered drinks and there were no questions asked. Miller gave him a weird look over the rim of his glass, but Bellamy just shrugged and continued his conversation with Monty.

 

                           **

 

She answers the phone after the second ring: “What’s up, Blake?”  
Bellamy wants to yell at her, asking why she is so fucking cheerful, but he knows that this isn’t Raven’s fault. She doesn’t even _know_.  
“She left the baby.”  
It is all that Bellamy says and there is a deafening silence at the other end. He is about to check the display, to see if Raven hung up, but then she says deliberately and slowly: “What?”  
He sighs, rubbing a hand over his face: “Clarke. She left. I mean…I… I know she was overhelmed with everything, but fuck Raven… _she left the baby_.”  
His voice may has descended into panic at the end, but otherwise he feels rather confident in delivering the news.  
He hears Raven swear before she settles on: “Are you sure?”  
Bellamy lets out a humorless laugh: “Yes, I’m sure, because I just put her back to sleep.”  
“No, idiot”, Raven hisses and he knows, she doesn’t know how deal with the situation either, “are you sure Clarke left?”  
“Yes, there is a note.”  
“A note? What does it say?”  
“I don’t know, I didn’t read it.”  
“Dammit Bellamy!”  Raven yells, “you didn’t re--, _idiot_. Go and read it, _now_!”  
“I don’t need to read it”, Bellamy says calmly, “I just know.”  
It is never a good sign when Raven is silent, so he adds: “What do I do with the baby?”  
She sighs deeply: “You take care of her. That is what you do.”  
Bellamy swallows heavily, deliberating the answer: “She isn’t mine.”  
Silences stretches between them and Raven sounds small – which is even worse than silent, when she says: “She might be.”

 

                          ***

 

Clarke and Bellamy became members of the death parent club around the same time. She just graduated high school when her father was murdered and Bellamy’s mother died not much after Octavia’s sixteen birthday.  
Before he had met Clarke, Bellamy hadn’t know that grief could be so utterly different.  
Where his was dominated by guilt and resentment, because how could his mother just die and let them take Octavia away from him?, - hers was raw and brutal.  
Bellamy loved his mother dearly, but Clarke _adored_ her father. It broke his heart seeing her mourning with no chance of closure.  
It was the third anniversary of their parent’s deaths, and they went to the Ground. At the bar, they sat a bit apart from their friends, trading their favorite stories and drinking their heads off to numb the pain.  
It was the first year Bellamy spent the day apart from Octavia and he remembered the moment last year when she told him that she would attend college at the other side of the country. He was furious, but he understood.  
His sister and he were joint at the hip since her birth and they never got the chance to figure out _who_ they were without the other one, so he knew in some way they _both_ needed this. But still, it sucked – a lot.  
But it was nothing  in comparison to Clarke’s hell of a year.  
First her boyfriend made her the other woman, her best friend went missing only to be found dead and finally, her own _mother_ was revealed as an accomplice in her father’s murder.  
Clarke had not spoken to her mother in months, and he was not sure she ever would again. There was no one who could hold a grudge like Clarke Griffin, and in this case, he could not blame her for it.  
They were slightly buzzed, far away from really shit-faced drunk when she was encouraged enough to tell  him: “I need you.”  
Bellamy froze and just stared at her dumbfound, feeling his arms closing around her when she threw herself into them.  
Her hot breath stroke his delicate skin when she whispered: “I _need_ you, Bellamy.”  
Her low, husky voice indicated that she was talking about more than just holding her, and Bellamy got carried away by the thought she wanted him to be hers.  
He followed her into the bathroom.  
It was not a quick fuck, it was not a love confession either. They didn’t know they were in love back then, but with their clothes, they stripped down all walls between them and offered the other a look on their souls. They didn’t know how to deal with the new level of intimacy, so they went back to bickering, to being friends and partners.

 

                          **

  
“She is not”, Bellamy insists and he can feel Raven’s frustration through the phone.  
_She can’t be,_ is what he thinks and just when Raven wants to counter, the baby starts crying again.  
“Shit”, he says, “she woke up again, I—I need to get her. Call you later.”  
Bellamy hangs up quickly and rushes into the bedroom, taking the baby out of Octavia’s old crip he put up when Clarke started to spend the night at his place. So of course, Clarke would leave her here. All her shit was here anyway and it was probably nothing more than a convenience.  
Damn it Clarke!  
Sighing, he settles on his bed and resting her on his knees - she stopped crying the moment he walked into the room as if she was missing him, and she was mustering him. The nine-month old manage to _scrutinize_ him, and he lets out a huff, because well… there is certainly no doubt she is _Clarke’s_ daughter.  
He shakes his head, trying to figure out what he is supposed to do and then, he allows his mind to wander instead.  
Her skin is darker than Clarke’s or Finn’s, not much but enough it resemblances his own, but this means nothing.  
Phenotypic features can skip _generations_ , at least he thinks. Maybe someone in Clarke's or Finn's family had darker skinn. That is how genetics work, right? He is not sure, because Clarke told him that what now seems ages ago.  
Bellamy sighs – again – and flops onto his back, settling the baby on his chest and smiles up to her.  
“Are you a Blake or a Collins?”, he asks her and pokes her noise. She wrinkles her nose and stares at him with her fierce blue eyes in a way that says _Neither I am a Griffin._

He considers, and whispers after a while: “I would probably accept Griffin-Blake, but that does not matter, does it?”

 

                      ***

 

“I think Clarke and Finn are fucking again”, Raven said, blunt.  
“Huh?” Bellamy paused the game and turned to look at her, but she kept her gaze deliberately on the paused screen.  
It was just the two of them, and not that he minded, but he never hung out _alone_ with Raven and having her spring on him with this information, confused him to say at least. But the others had ditched on them, Monty and Jasper needed to work at the bar - how someone trusted them enough to handle their business when alcohol was involved was a riddle to him – which was why Miller and Maya went to the bar as well. And Clarke? He was not sure why she cancelled, but apparently it was so she could fuck Finn what was just… _great_.  
Bellamy threw the controller forcefully on the couch and got up to help himself with another beer. He just cracked the bottle and took a sip when Raven asked: “Do you want to have sex?” and looked at him, considering, “like now?”  
It was a challenge not to cover Raven in a spray of beer, and he forced the beer down his throat instead. She was looking at him with a single raised eyebrow, and well, she was _hot_ and exactly his type and if she had offered it a few months ago, Bellamy would have not wasted an another second, but now?  
So he asked, wary: “Why?”  
Raven snorted amused and scooted closer to him on the couch, pressing herself into his side: “Do you need always a reason for a little _fun_?”  
Bellamy wet his lips, looking down at her: “No, but I would really like to get one.”  
“I need someone to get over Finn.”  
“If you are looking for someone who tells this is wrong--, I’m not that person”, he said, staring at her and giving her a chance to back out and going back to play video games.  
“Good”, she answered, pulling her shirt over her head – and _fuck_.  
Raven leaned in to kiss him, and he kissed her back, but pulled back almost immediately.  
“Come on”, she said, sounding angry and crossing her arms in front of, pushing her breasts up, “you need this as much as I do. He is sleeping with the girl you are in love with… You need to get it out of your system.”  
Bellamy winced, but there was nothing much to deny so he rushed forward and captured her lips in a hot kiss.  
The sex was good, great even, but when Raven pulled back on her cloths and he buried his face in his arms, he knew.  
“Didn’t help you much either, huh?” she asked, and he only groaned in response, “thought so.”  
She left after that, and they heard about the fatal  car accident that was about to happen in the next six hours, the next morning.

 

                            **

 

“I’m going to break her”, Octavia promises and manages to look intimidating through a pixeled skype screen.  
“Nah”, he says and shrugs, “you wouldn’t want me to make a single parent and going to prison.”  
“You already are a single parent”, Octavia sighs, ignoring his shitty joke completely, “with a baby that might not be yours and a baby mama who took off three months ago to go to fucking _Paris_.”  
Bellamy winces, but doesn’t respond otherwise. Hearing it said out loud is even worse than he would have imagined.  
He had waited a week for her to come back, and then called Abby. She was, after all the baby’s only blood-related relative and the obvious choice for the legal guardian. When Abby told him that Clarke has given her instructions before leaving for Paris involving that Bellamy should take care of the baby, his blood was boiling and he had hung up. He had needed an hour to cool down and to call her back, and after that it had been all business.  
Abby sent a card for the baby’s upcoming birthday but that’s it.  
“Will you and Lincoln come down to her birthday next months?” he says finally and grins when his sister rolls her eyes at him.  
“Of course, we will”, she exclaims and scoots closer to the screen, “and now, bring me my niece so she can have at least one awesome women in her life.”  
Something in his guts twists and he gets up. He always thought – and still does, honestly – that Clarke would be a good mother. So, he still has hope.  
When he sits back with the baby in his lap, Octavia goes silent for a solid minute.  
“I know”, Bellamy smiles at the girl, “she looks more like Clarke every day.”  
“No, Bellamy”, his sister says, still staring at the girl, “she looks exactly like _you_.”

  
                          *

 

It is April when he learns about Clarke’s girlfriend, and he thinks it is a joke. But it’s not. She sporadically keeps up with Raven and Monty – she even did try to call him, but he just couldn’t answer the phone – so he knows it’s true.  
It takes him two more weeks, because he has a daughter and needs to settle things first, before he jumps at a plane and flies to Paris. He has never been to Europe, let alone Paris and he hates her for ruining his first time there which probably will also be his only time.  
When he sees her, he wants to cry.  
 It is still _Clarke_.   
She is a bit thinner, looks a bit more exhausted than he’s used to know her, but it is still his Clarke. The same blue eyes with the same spark they got whenever she looked at him.  
Clarke pushes the door open to let him into the small apartment in the city center – of course, she would live in the city center, she is Clarke Griffin. And suddenly she feels not so much like Clarke any more and more like the picture he had in his head when they met for the first time.  
“So”, he says as he looks around, “you obviously knew I was coming.”  
“My mom told me you took money from the bank account”, she nods, “I knew you wouldn’t touch that money unless you had no other choice.”  
“Yeah, well”, he picks up a frame, showing her and a pretty, intimidating brunette, “I have a child…vacation is hard while being on a budget.”  
“Is she alright?” Clarke’s voice is nothing but a whisper.  
Bellamy spins around and grits out: “You _don’t_ get to ask _that_. Of course, she is alright. She is fine, amazing even and you would know if you just were there, Clarke!”  
By now he is screaming, and _fuck_ …she is _crying_.  
He breaths in, nostrils flaring, and he closes his eyes.  
He knows when he looks at her he is going to crack. He is so fucking angry at her, but he loves her so fucking much.  
“I’m sorry”, she whispers, “I know--I know I could leave, because she-they- had _you_.”  
When he opens his eyes, there are oceans bleeding out of her eyes and he is kneeling by her side. His hand comes to rest on her knee and squeezes it light. She covers his hand with her own, deliberates and flips them over, lacing her fingers through  his.  
Her thump caresses his knuckles while her sobs starts to calm down, and then they sit in silence.  
“Why did you leave, Clarke?”  
“I killed him, Bellamy”, Clarke said and her voice is unwavering, her eyes are staring at nothing.  
He jerked up, and when he meets her eyes he can see that she fears he is leaving her, but instead he sits down next to her and pulls her into his arms.  
“He used to call and text, and I could see how he slowly lost his mind. Losing me, losing Raven it was too much for him, but he didn’t stop to tell me that he loved me, that he wanted me back… and I was so fucking done. What he did to Raven – how was I supposed to forgive him? But he was so persistent that I agreed that he could give me a ride”, Clarke was shaking and Bellamy felt this pang of anger in his chest, “We got into an argument – and I was yelling at him when—when the other car hit the driver’s side. He—Bellamy—he was dead, and it was all my fault and then I found out, I was pregnant.”  
Bellamy lets her cry into his chest, trying to soothe her with whispers and kisses her forehead.  
“You need to come home, Clarke.” It is a plea and he knows he sounds desperate… but he _is_ desperate.  
She detangles herself from him and looks at him with watery eyes: “I can’t Bellamy. I can’t come home. I'm sorry, but...I can’t hold my child when there is blood on my hands. I can’t home, not yet. Please… you need to understand.”  
“You should come home, Clarke”, is all he says before he walks to the door – and it feels like his heart breaks all over again – and leaves.

 

                           *

 

It is October and Bellamy hates October.  
Clarke’s birthday is in October, and when he can’t hate Clarke, well he can at least hate everything about her.  
He sits in the kitchen when his phone provides him with the notification, and he scowls at the screen as if it’d personally offended him. In his defense, it did.  
Of course, this is the exact moment Gina emerges from the bedroom, wearing his navy blue shirt. It bothers him for stupid reasons – just, Clarke used to wear the shirt when she crashed at his place, especially at the end of her pregnancy when her own clothes didn’t fit anymore, and it is bad for his mental health.  
Gina, oblivious to his thoughts, leans over and kisses his cheeks.  
“Good morning”, she smiles and when she checks his face she adds, “or not?”  
“No it is”, he smiles, and tucks her in for a real kiss, “Happy first of October?”, he offers.  
“Is there anyone celebrating on the first of October??” she laughs and settles on his lap, his arms come around her instinctively.  
He considers: “Alexander the Great defeats Darius III in the battle of Gaugamela, so I guess someone is...”  
“Nerd”, she says, and pecks his lip before she glances at his phone and asks carefully: “So…Clarke’s birthday is in twenty-nine days?”  
Bellamy looks at her apologetically and Gina gets up, browsing the fridge when he sighs in defeat and says: “Octavia forced me to go digital. She set up the countdown app on my phone, and because I’m actually an old man in Adonis’ body”, he grins when Gina rolls her eyes at him, “I don’t know how to shut it down. Yesterday I turned it into a mirror – it is magic I swear, but It took  me half an hour to reverse it, though.”  
This earns him a genuine laugh and she comes back, sinking on his lap again and carding her hands through his hair.  
“Do you know that she loved you?” Gina asks, and he closes his eyes, humming at her finger massaging his scalp.  
“I guess so, but back then she didn’t say it, and now it doesn't matter.”  
“Did she know you loved her?”  
He forces himself to keep a straight face at the past tense. The truth is, he loves Gina, but he still loves Clarke, too. It is his default setting.  
“Well, she gave me her child. So I guess, she did know.”  
Gina stops running her hands through his hair and he cracks an eye open, probably looking like a displeased cat, and sees Gina worrying her lip.  
He surges up, trying to kiss her worries away and cradles her face in his hands: “Hey, Clarke and I aren’t some tragic lovers being parted by fate.”  
Gina snorts: “Yeah, more like tragic lover parted by totally mundane circumstances.”  
Bellamy tickles her sides when he asks: “What about _no lovers_ …at all?” and raises a questioning eyebrow at her.  
She looks like she is considering the option, but then shakes her head and  answers: “She looks a lot like you Bellamy. It is scary.”  
“So people keep telling me”, he concedes, “but I think of it more like that weird thing going on with dog owner and dog. Sometime, they look so alike no one knows who resemblances whom.”  
Gina laughs again and is about to pull him when he adds: “Either way, it would not make any difference.”  
Her brown furls when she asks him why, and seems concerned. He gets it, really. It _is_ weird raising your ex best friend’s daughter with no questions  asked.  
“Because it is Clarke’s child anyway”, Bellamy answers and he wants to bite his words back the moment he says them.  
But Gina just pecks his lips, slides off his lap and starts making breakfast

  
  
                           *

 

“Yeah”, Raven says proudly and smirks at Bellamy, “she is going to be a tech girl.”  
His daughter is sitting on the floor, surrounded by the new toys she got for her birthday which most of them she is ignoring for half an hour.  
Because of course, she goes for the speech-teaching robot Raven tinkered. It blinks and makes noises and speaks, she is two and that thing even attracts _his_ attention and he is an adult.  
“I might have been wrong”, Octavia grins over his shoulder, “she can’t be your daughter when she favours _anything else_ over the books you got her.”  
“She is two years old”, Bellamy stresses petulantly, but his voice is  wavering and Octavia smirks at him.  
“Are you going to cry?”  
At that, Bellamy gaps offended, and exclaims loudly: “ _No_!”  
“Don’t play so cool, Blake”, Gina grins at him while bringing in the birthday cake, “you cried like three times this morning. You even made her promise to never grow up.”  
“This is gold”, Jasper laughs, and Bellamy feels his cheeks heat up and rubs his neck.  
Then Bellamy steps over to Gina, kissing her temples when she sets the cake down and Bellamy is reminded on the morning of Clarke’s birthday.  
He misses her all the time, but it was worse on her birthday, because he woke up and _knew_ it was her birthday. He’d wanted to roll over, kiss her awake and wishing her the happiest of birthdays, but she hadn’t been there.  
And now it is their child’s birthday and in a month is his, and birthday season sucks without her.  
Before she left, on his birthday she would get up early ( besides she was _not_ a morning person) and would _try_ to make him breakfast ( she was _not_ a cook either) while wearing his clothes  ( because she refused to wear her own to sleep) and swearing a lot until he stopped smiling into his pillow and got up to help her. He would place her at the table, and treat her with pancakes before they would watch documentaries and she would make slightly less fun of him, because _it is his birthday_. Later they would go out with their friends, and Miller would throw him a you-are-so-married-dude look, and he would just roll his eyes at him.  
And oh god, he misses her so fucking much.  
“Are there any pictures?” Miller asks, bringing him back into the Clarke-less reality.  
“Oh yeah”, Gina reassured him, “he accidentally switched to the front camera and took like a thousand photos of himself crying. It was hilarious.”  
“No way!” Miller says and is fucking beaming, “where is your phone, Blake?”  
“I got it”, Octavia chimes in, and Miller and her hunched over the screen looking like comic villains plotting.  
“Don’t even try”, Bellamy rolls his eyes, “I have a security code now.”  
“Dude”, Miller looks up, unimpressed, “you know I’m practically engaged to a hacker _genius_?” and now is Monty beaming like the sun, “beside we all know it—yeah, it is really your daughter’s birthday. That was painfully obvious."  
And before Bellamy can even progress what happened, pictures of his swollen, red face floading around. Most of them are blurry and from a weird low angle, but they still showing him unmistakably crying.  
But he doesn’t care and instead goes over to sit with his daughter, trying to spark her interest  for the books but instead gets caught up in a story. When they are found by Gina half an hour later, Bellamy is hunched over the book, and his daughter sitting in his lap. She takes a shot of them, and when she later shows him, he tells her that he loves her.


	2. Part 2

It is Christmas when Octavia calls him two weeks later. She uses her phone instead of skype, and Bellamy knows something is up.  
“So”, she says as a greeting, “you are going to be mad at me”, and he groans in response.  
“Merry Christmas to you, too Octavia. It is so nice of you calling me since you could not make it this year... _What the hell did you do_?”  
“Language”, Octavia scolds him and he looks beside him, watching his daughter sleeping safe and sound. She is getting too big and too old to sleep in his bed, but she woke up whiney and he is a sucker for his daughter, so yeah. Gina is working anyway since she owns a restaurant and Christmas is big business, and he is grading because he feels bad doing nothing when his girlfriend is at work on a holiday.  
“Okay, first of all: Merry Christmas, Bell”, Octavia says and he can _hear_ her rolling her eyes, “second, it is an odd year and you know we are spending it with Lincoln’s family and third”, she draws her breath and Bellamy suddenly feels nervous, “I went to Paris.”  
“What the f-“, he barely manages to stop himself and gets up, puts the baby ( she sleeps like the deads, just like her mother) into the crip and leaves the bedroom.  
“What the fuck, Octavia”, he whisper-shouts, “what the hell are you doing in Paris?”  
“Getting engaged”, she says swiftly, “and yelling at Clarke.”  
Bellamy is certain he just had a stroke: “What the _hell_ , Octavia! This is none of your busin- what did you say to her? What did she say?”  
Octavia is silent and Bellamy is dying of the suspense when he hears her sighing and then saying with a delicate voice: “She is coming home, Bellamy.”  
The phone slides out of his hand and to be honest, he always expected she would come back… but actually knowing she is coming home might be just too much.  
When he picks up the phone again, Octavia says: “There is also good news, like besides that I’m going to marry Lincoln.”  
“I’m listening”, he says and settles on the couch.  
“We won’t have children for another year.”  
Bellamy lets out a huff of laughter, puts his head back and Octavia continues: “And she is alright, Bell. Her paintings are scattered around little galleries in Paris. Lincoln gets weirdly well along with her, might be an artist-thing. She looks good, but you know, _not_ happy. I wanted to hate her Bellamy, and I really did, but when I saw her I could practically feel her radiating of the love she has for you and your daughter.”  
He lets the word sink in before he answers: “That—that is a lot, right now.”  
“I know”, Octavia says sympathetically, “I texted Miller and Raven beforehand, and they are coming over bringing Monty, Jasper and Maya.”  
“I want to be alone, O.”  
“No you don’t”, she says determined, “you want to mother-hen our friends and distract yourself, because you want your daughter to be happy.”  
Bellamy sighs and rubs a hand over his face: “You right. Thanks, O –  and congratulation on your engagement. I am really happy for you.”  
“Thank you, big brother. I love you. Merry Christmas.”  
“Love you too.”

*

“Don’t touch him”, Raven advises the tall, handsome guy with the long hair who she introduced as the guys she fucks, “he might bite.”  
“I usually go by Roan”, the guy Raven fucks says and shakes Bellamy’s hand.  
He leads them into the living room where Monty already hooked up the Playstation and Jasper and Maya were cuddling on the couch. Miller just emerges from the bedroom with a sleepy baby on his arms and Bellamy nods smilingly at him and heads into the kitchen.  
“You shouldn’t be cooking right now. You cooked all day”, he wraps his arms around Gina’s waist and nuzzles his nose into her hair.  
“I’m good”, she pats his hands and leans her head back on his shoulder, granting him a better access to her neck, “besides I didn’t do much cooking. It was way more yelling..”  
“I’m having a hard time imagine you yelling”, he grins and presses a kiss to her jaw, and steps back, “tell me how I can help.”  
He is in charge of the sauce, but his mind is anywhere else – in Paris to be exact – and when he burns it for the third time, Gina dismisses him with a light smack on the head and tells him to go play with his friends.  
He does and Miller lets him win for the second time in a row before the food is ready and they eat. They drink wine and bear and pretend the sauce doesn’t taste horrible and it is really nice. But then Gina gets called in by the restaurant and Jasper and Maya leave to meet her parents for a nightcap and Monty and Roan pointedly leave with them until it is just Miller, Raven and him.  
They sit in companionable silence, the quiet static of the baby monitor besides him when Bellamy says slowly: “So, since you guys are too chicken to address the topic I will: She is coming back.”  
Raven snorts: “Too chicken my ass. Wait and see if we ever again try to be sensitive.”  
Bellamy ogles them: “Since when are you trying to be sensitive about my feelings?”  
“Who said anything about _your_ feelings?” Miller asks slightly amused and Bellamy’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise, before furling them in confusion.  
“About whose feelings are you concerned then? I mean I am the one who could lose their daughter .”  
“Oh shut up, Blake”, Raven snaps at him and he can’t help but feel offended, “you are going to get _everything_. And yes, it is going to suck at first, because she left and you are mad at her, and the two fo you will be awkward, but you are going to figure it out. You will get the girl you love and Clarke get the man she loves and the two of you are going to be stupidly and nauseatingly happy. We will be there for you, but we also like Gina and she is the one whose heart is going to be broken by this.”  
Miller grunts in agreement and Bellamy’s stomach drops. He has no real comeback to that, so Raven continues: “I know she would never admit it, because she is such a good person, but she hopes that Clarke will never come back and you will eventually get over her. But Bellamy…Clarke was always going to come back and you are raising a fucking Mini-Griffin with significant Blake features and you fucking _deny_ it… she is not stupid, but she still has hope.”  
Bellamy rubs his hand over his face, having this hot feeling of guilt burning in his stomach and summarizes: “Gina deserves better.”  
“Harsh truth, but yeah”, Raven nods and squeezes his shoulder, “I’m going to set her up with my hot yoga instructor Luna.”  
Bellamy rolls his eyes at her, and prompts: “And what about Clarke?”  
“Well, like I said. It is going to suck, but eventually you're going to be fine, great even. I mean, I can see where she was coming from”, at that Bellamy’s eyebrows shoot up and Raven lifts her hands defensively, “I’m not trying to excuse her… how she handled things was wrong, but her first love not only cheated, but _died_ on her, her best friend got murdered and on top of that, her own mother was involved in the clusterfuck her _father’s_ murder was. Then, she got pregnant from her best friend with whom she was in love forever but it just got too much and…well, I’m impressed she endured that long.”  
“You can’t be serious”, Miller suddenly hisses and Bellamy is pulled out from his thoughts, “she hit and run and _left her child_.”  
“With the father”, Raven argues.  
“She left without notice… and didn’t even bother to really call", Miller snarls.  
“She took care of herself. That it what you have to do before you can be able to take care of a child properly!” Raven gets up and crosses her arms in front of her chest and Miller is about to say something when Bellamy interferes.  
“That is enough and definitely a discussion I need to have with Clarke – and if anyone waking up my child there, I going to kill you”, he deflates, “but thank you for everything, guys, really. I love you… and _thanks_.”

*

Bellamy knows Clarke is coming back, but that is all he knows. He doesn’t even know when and so he tries to keep himself distracted which isn’t much of an issue, because he needs to pack anyway.  
They are moving into a bigger apartment shortly after New Year. His daughter is getting bigger and his current loft apartment is not really appropriate for children, so this is just the next step.  
Nevertheless, he was overly emotional after Miller and he went apartment-hunting( there are pictures of this, of course), but the new one is nice.  
It is close to Jasper and Raven’s apartment, is located in a good school distract and if he wants to he can walk to the high school where he teaches. Even an art gallery is nearby and he does not know if it is by chance or by subconscious choice. And honesly,it doesn't matter.  
He wraps up the bedroom and his daughter sleeps on the couch while the muted tv is showing the Times Square when he finds her note.  
The note she wrote him roughly one and a half year ago.  
Bellamy can still see his anger in the wrinkles of the sheet where his fist had crumbled it.  
He stops the packing and settles besides his daughter instead, stroking  his daugther's inky curly hair with one hand and holding the note with the other.  
When he looks at the tv and stares at it for a solid minute, he knows he is stalling and forces his gaze on the sheet, studies it intently.  
And then his stomach drops, his heart stops, well… _everything_ just holds its breath.  
Bellamy knows this paper and recognizes it from their first class assignment together. They were simply asked to write down their first impression on their partner at the top of the sheet and he reads her curly handwriting: _Bellamy Blake is a fucking asshole._ Clarke dated the paper, because of course she did ( _Snobby, know-it-all privileged princess who never had to do anything in her life by herself,_ he had written, and boy was he wrong).  
At the end of their seminar, they were asked to write down what they thought of their partner now and she wrote: _I fucking love that asshole, I played myself._  
It was the end of freshman year and she just started dating Finn, so it was rather likely she meant it platonic, but his hearts widens nevertheless. Being loved by Clarke Griffin does this to him.  
Bellamy sighs and feels better _and_ worse, because that’s it? But then he folds the paper, and sees the back of the page and his heart fucking _leaps_.  
He turns it around and realizes it is a _love letter_ – Clarke Griffin Style: organized and dated.  
It is a list that starts on March three years ago with saying _I might be in love with Bellamy Blake,_ and not even a week later _I love Bellamy Blake, there is it, I said it._  
Bellamy stills. The world around him is silent and the blood is pounding so loud in his ear he thinks he might become deaf. __  
At the first week of December, it reads _I hate that I fucking love that asshole who impregnated me and you can be lucky that we needed to have sex for that, because I am not sure I’m going ever to have sex with you again when the consequences are thirty-seven hours labor._  
She had added _so not worth it_ , but had crossed it out again, because the very next day she wrote _So freaking worth it ( no more swearing, I am a mom now). I love you so much, Helen Aurora Blake. Officially, it is going to be Griffin, but in my head every time I test it, it comes out as Blake. I went totally overboard with the Greek Mythology name, I know but I love you, Bellamy Blake and I’m sure you wouldn’t have want it any other way._  
It goes on with _I love you forever, Helen Aurora Blake and I love you, Bellamy Blake_ and sometimes she puts in some comments and blames him for being such a love-sick sap or asks him to marry him solely based on his pancakes skills and _well, probably also because I love you, Bellamy and I think you are kinda cute._  
Bellamy’s head is spinning and he might be biased, but besides his daughter, this is the best thing ever.  
He feels the change in late summer and her words change to _I will love you forever, Helen and I still love you, Bellamy,_ and suddenly there is this pang of guilt for not noticing, but it was his first year as a teacher and there was a lot on his mind…  
On the day she left, she wrote _I want you to know, this is NOT your fault. Do you listen to me? This has nothing to do with her or you, but everything with me. Please take care of our daughter while I will take care of myself and I know I don’t have you to tell this, but let me have it. I will love you forever, Helen and I will probably always love you, Bellamy Blake._  
By now, he is tearing up and he barely notices the balldrop, but the knock at the door is so loud it startles him.  His heart is broken in thousand pieces and carefully put together and he knows, he loves his beautiful daughter and he loves Clarke Griffin.  
Still, he is shaking when he gets the door.  
She looks tired, but in a jetlag-kind-of-way and it feels okay. When she realizes he stands already in front of her, she gives him a shy smile and starts rambling, her hands wrenching together: _“_ I’m sorry, but I rushed over here from the airport and it didn’t occur to me that there is an six hour time difference until I knocked at your door. But I just want to see my daughter and you can glare at me the whole time, but please don’t fight me on this and let me ju- -“.  
“You through?” he asks, and her cheeks are flushed and she looks so beautiful and Bellamy can’t help himself, but capture her lips in a kiss. The words are dying in her throat and she wraps her arm around his neck, pulling him in closer and it besides it feels like their first kiss, there is a familiarity that makes his heart aches.  
He kisses her, because kissing her is easy and loving her is going to be hard at first, but he loves her and he is willing to fight for what they have and what they are.  
When he pulls back, he leans his forehead against hers and she is panting, her hot breath stroking is neck.  
“I’m still angry at you and there is a lot we have to talk about and figure out, but I love you so much”, he whispers and pecks her lips again, because he can and when he breathes out, the world is tumbling from his shoulders.  
“Good”, she says, catching it and helping him carry, “we will get through this, _together”, a_ nd there is such a determination in her eyes, he leans in again.  
She kisses him back, but she is impatient and bites his bottom lip playfully, and something in Bellamy stirs and he wants to deepen the kiss but she pushes him to the side.  
“I love you, but there is one person in the world I love more”, Clarke says, “and this is _our_ daughter.”  
Bellamy’s heart pretty much explodes at that and he takes her hand, leads her into the apartment.

*

At first, it is awkward – just like Raven has predicted.  
Clarke explains why she left and Bellamy tries to understand, but it is hard. He can’t quite grasp why she left _him_ , but he sees she is better and happy and more like herself than in three years, and well, they always offered forgiveness to eachother pretty much in a heartbeat.  
With their friends it is easier and more difficult at the same time. They are happy that she is back, but they do feel abandoned by her and have this tuck of loyalty towards him, but really, there are no sides anymore. So it is only a matter of time, because they love her and she loves them and she does everything to earn their trust back.  
But nothing makes Clarke Griffin more nervous than to interact with her own child. She left an infant, but Helen is a curios toddler now and Clarke feels the month apart like a slight sting in her heart when she looks at her. Helen was too young when Clarke left to fully comprehend that her mother was in fact gone for a while, but Clarke did.  
It is because she walks and talks – okay, they are mostly nominals and she sounds like she is making a command ( “Bossy like her mom”, Bellamy joked when Clarke first heard her talk and nuzzled her cheek, pressing a kiss against the corner of her mouth), but still.  
They talked about this a lot and it seems like Clarke finally started to accept the past and focus on the future instead. Considering the future, they bicker and fight without heat about the raising of their child, because she has strong opinions on the _how_ , and Bellamy loves her even a bit more for it.  
The best part of their arguments is still the making up which usually ends in _making out_ , which is awesome.  
Clarke rolls her eyes at him when they just wrapped up another discussion and slings his arm around his neck, pressing her lips to his. His hand tangles in his hair and just when she is opening up to deepen the kiss, someone tugs at his pants: “No, Daddy!”  
He looks down at her daughter who is scowling at him and it is ridiculous how much she looks like him when she does that. From the corner of his eyes, he sees Clarke stiffen and slides his arm comforting along her arm when he crutches down in front of their daughter.  
“What’s going on, munchkin?” he asks only to be straight up ignored and watches how Helen turns to Clarke, raising her arm towards her and when she still doesn’t understand, Helen starts whining: “Mom..."  
It is the first time Helen called her Mom and Clarke as in awe as well she is shocked, but does not waste another second to haul their daughter in her arms. When Helen smacks a kiss at Clarke’s mouth, Clarke nearly lets out a cry of happiness ( a squealing escapes, though) and starts to pepper her daughter’s face with kisses until she wrangles in her arms and she lets her down on the floor.  
“I love you, Helen Aurora Blake”, she whispers as she watches their daughter stumble back to their shitload of toys Abby gave her as late birthday and Christmas presents.  
With a smile Clarke turns back to Bellamy who buries his face at the crook of her neck, noising her delicate skin and groans: “She is going to be so spoiled. All the lessons in modesty were for nothing… I feel like I wasted my time.”  
“Well”, Clarke laughs and starts carding her hand through his messy curls, scratching lightly at his scalp, “she is just two, I don’t think she remembers much of them anyway.”  
He shoots her a dirty look and starts trailing kisses along her neck and whispers when Clarke suppresses a moan: “Maybe we should stop, there are children watching.”  
“No”, Clarke breaths, “she is actually reading a book right now, or well at least looking at it.”  
At that Bellamy’s head whips around and a pride rushes through his body when he sees her hunched over a book instead playing with the other toys – the robot include, _take that Raven_.  
When he turns back to Clarke, she smirks at him, but he just answers smugly: “Now, we can be sure that she is really a Blake.”  
Again, Clarke rolls her eyes at him and cups his cheeks: “You are an idiot”, but then considers, tracing the constellation in his face, “but to be honest, I wasn’t sure either until I saw the freckles.”  
“Shut up”, he says with no heat and she raises a single eyebrow at him, challenging: “Make me.”  
Bellamy grins and pulls her rough to his lips, so she lets out a huff of surprise and mumbles after a lingering kiss: “I love you, Bellamy Blake.”  
“Yeah, I think I got the idea”, he says, smugly, “in fact, I have it on paper over and over”, and he kisses her again until they both are gasping for air, “I love you, too you know? I love you fu- - _freaking_ much.”  
She laughs and glances over his shoulder before sliding her finger against his jawline, making him shiver: “I hope she gets the Blake jawline. It is awesome.”  
“It would be only fair”, he Bellamy says, “she already got the Griffin eyes.”  
“Just the best of you and me”, Clarke agrees.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay that it! I hope you like it and tell me what you liked about it in a comment :) I'd love to talk about the fic with you.
> 
> PS: I was head over heels in love back then when I wrote the story, so I hope you liked the Extreme Fluff at the end.  
> (Also check out my other works or scream with me about Bellarke on tumblr (the-things-we-have-done)


End file.
